There are pros and cons to living alone. Since I love making lists, and this one has been brewing for several days I will lay it all out here. Enjoy.

Pros
Milk/Toothpaste/OJ/TP/Cereal/Everything lasts longer. Seriously, when Hope was living with me we NEVER had milk. Without her I'm still working on the gallon we started while she was here.

I can come and go as I please without feeling guilty for leaving her alone, or having to drag her around to places she really didn't want to go.

Work is my refuge again. I don't have to entertain her AND work, I can just sit and peacefully sew.

I get the mail every day :) sue, me that is one of my small and favorite pleasures.

My bathroom stays neater! I mean, she has lived with 8 brothers for yeaaaaaaaaaaars. But I did too...and there are some things that are simply NOT done hahahaha

I can walk around naked again. Without shame. She never really got this practice.

Sleep! I can stay up all night and do homework, listen to music or try to walk on the ceiling. Not a problem.

Sleep! part two. I am not losing any hearing her get it on with her boyfriend while I huddled in bed, woefully celibate.

Sleep! part three. I can bring guys home now without feeling like a bad example. True, now there is only one guy I want to bring home, but options are now there that weren't before.

The electric bill is MUCH lower. Because I lived with nanny so long I don't turn on every light in the house. I even prefer candles. So my $60-$90 dollar electric bill (ouch!!!) has shrunk back down to its accustomed $25ish bill. Hurrah!!!!!


Cons

Coming home to an empty house.
That says just about everything. Not to mention having no convenient and familiar shoulder to cry on, person to give advice about outfits, the cryptic things some guy is saying, complain about work, brag about work, watch the new Gossip Girl with, borrow hair bands from, fight with over the little things (like the oj, tp, electric bill etc.)

I miss her.

I had just become used to being alone. Now I am all over again, and its worse than the first time.
I just found someone. Or he found me. Or we found each other at the same moment. And I'm trying not to ruin this. And I'm trying to be myself. And I'm trying not to jump to the conclusions my mind always does.

But I go home to an empty apartment that I can't afford.
And my heart breaks more than I can afford.

And most of the time I'm happy. But a lot of the time I am like this.

Enough.
Love.
your
Hana